So I was thinking about 1994.
A bit random, you may think and, in many ways, you’d be right. There was a reason for it though. 1994 was approximately the year that a group of A Level students with whom I had the pleasure of meeting recently were born.
Wow, I thought (I do occasionally think the word WOW, sometimes I even imagine a giant exclamation mark following it and then floating away into some imaginary… I’ll leave it there). I remember 1994. I seem to recall it being a good year and thought it’d be a bit of a wheeze to recollect it, to, as people of my age are prone to doing, drag up old news items and wave them aggressively at those pesky young’uns shouting “You weren’t even born when so-and-so did that? When what’s-her-face won that? Ha! You make me sick with all your being born so recently. God, I’m soooooo old.”
And then making a song and dance about being old in the face of youth when in fact, I’m not really THAT old and my doing this routine could only be defined as a fairly sad attempt to gain some kind of superiority purely on the basis of a chronology none of us have any control over.
The problem was I couldn’t readily recollect anything particularly newsworthy from the year. Brazil won the world cup. Definitely Maybe was released, wasn’t it? (Definitely? Maybe?) And that was that. So, of course, I thought I’d cheat. I’d look it up. Call upon the old sage of the community, the master Google, all wise and knowing. I asked the mighty elder to bring forth a list of news events from 1994. And, like the great minds of Deep Thought itself, the request was duly delivered (in 0.15 seconds).
It seems that quite a lot happened in 1994. Of course, the odd thing about looking at a list of events is that they get flattened out – major events that have had profound resonance on the world sit alongside the trivial. And the lists themselves – I looked through plenty, are so arbitrary in the events they log. It turns out that 1994 was the year that Queen Elizabeth fell off her horse and broke her wrist, that Hulk Hogan beat Ric Flair to win the WCW Wrestling Championship, that Jerry Garcia (before he became a famous ice-cream flavour) got married, that David Platt became England football captain, that OJ Simpson ruined his Naked Gun career after apparently not-murdering anybody and that there was an astonishingly awful episode of genocide and other atrocity in Rwanda and continuing awfulness in the former Yugoslavia.
Take that, year 12 – fancy not being around when David Platt was captain of England.